"Building Better Humans"
Written by: David & Lisa Davoust
Illustrations by: Abigail Davoust
Formats:
eBook - $7.95 Hardback - $24.95 Paperback - $18.28
When I was pregnant with my eldest I devoured parenting books, one right after another, like I somehow thought that information would make me a parenting expert. Admittedly, knowledge and scientifically backed theories DO help and play a large part in my parenting 'style' - but, as we all know, knowing about parenting and actually being a parent are two very, very different things. Some of my reading has made this journey easier, while some of it has made it harder. All that said, I still read parenting books and blogs, yet my focus has narrowed to issues that approaches I think I can truly apply in my day to day - and ones that I feel may actually help.
When I stumbled across "Building Better Humans" by David and Lisa Davoust on NetGalley.com, the title grabbed me quickly enough to make me request the book. Building Better Humans... I like that, because that is what we are doing - helping fellow humans grow and learn how to live in this life while trying to help them become the best people they can be. Kids are not aliens (though sometimes they may act like it!), they are not objects or appendages to our lives - they are humans, and deserve the respect you would give to any other human. Some may disagree with me, but I truly and firmly believe this.
After reading the book my initial interest has been tempered with distaste, though only for some parts in the narrative. My family is secular in nature and while this book is not overtly religious, there is an underlying echo in the words, including a liberal spicing of proverbs throughout. For some, this will be incredibly beneficial. For me, not so much - yet I do welcome exploring other views and outlooks, especially when it comes to parenting, so I kept reading. Based on 12 guiding principles, this book attempts to set a framework that can help with this exhausting and amazing journey. First and Foremost: your job as a parent is to teach your child to survive as an adult without you. That may sound harsh, even sad, but it is the truth. You want and need your child to be self sufficient, without you. In normal circumstances, it is the only way they can survive, even thrive, in the world.
The remaining principles build upon this core rule. It touches on communication, treating your child with respect, never lying to them and much more. I can stand behind all those and even found myself nodding along as I read...until I came to the discipline section of the narrative.... where I paused. The beginning parts are all very common in their theme and goals - teaching lessons through sensible consequences, following through, etc, etc. Yet towards the end I scratched my head. There is a big note that the authors do not advocate nor advise spanking... yet they give guidelines and even rules just in case your family does spank. Ah. For me and mine, that is a big no.
It is difficult for me to decide on an honest rating for this book. My first instinct it to label it a 1 and walk on, but that is not fair. Despite the hollow feeling of "To Train Up a Child" seeping through the pages, there IS common sense to be found here, in fact - most of it really is decent. Maybe it is a knee jerk reaction that has me balking... but truthfully, while this book is not my cup of tea, it may be your's. So - a 3.
